This is not my story but I sort of feel the connection with the ‘I’ rather than genuinely present a true story of an existed person. The problems with sleeping have gradually developed onto many people especially at a very young age where they will only sleep at the latest, 4am in the morning. I wonder what actually put off sleeping. Everyone should really place sleeping as part of a crucial element in life. An element that moulds your physical wellbeing, a sense of vitality and just to allow you to continue the human paths with full on energy.
Here it is….The story of Insomnia
Insomnia is a funny thing. I can’t sleep last night again. I tossed and turned on the bed like usual. My bed was a comfy one, but why is it so hard to put me into sleep. I could hear the slightest sound while I was concentrating on falling asleep. The fact of my attempt in ignoring these sound becomes an attachment. Therefore, there are no watches or clocks beside me as I could hear the tickling sound like a siren repeatedly on my ears. It wasn’t easy. The noise of cars passing by outside of the house, drunk people shouting and people snoring beside me. Indeed, I was jealous that the people around could sleep like a baby. Never awake by the noises and their surroundings. I try not to sleep during the days so I could sleep during the night but apparently it didn’t work at all. Personally, I find my mind could not let go the things that happened during the day. They kept on playing in my mind like flashbacks. I just can’t control it properly. The dilemmas in my life, the situation that I encountered during the day, the past, imagining the future and the ways. There are just too much to think. It is not sufficient to think during the day, I just do not have the time. My mind is occupied with the stuffs and affairs that I have to carry out- work, personal and family. An array of imageries continuously take over my sleep. Closing my eyes, but my mind is not completely shut. At night, I have to do the thinking rather than the actions that does the work during the day. When I think too much, stress starts to pile up that I just could not merely measure it anymore. Seeing my reflection on the mirror, there was a definite and apparent changes to my physical appearances. Skin was definitely not in a good condition, almost seems dehydrated. Lying on the bed and kept worrying for the things that have not happen. Turning on to the other side of the bed and kept reflecting on the different person that are part of my life- family, friends, employer, neighbours and even strangers. Remembering their faces, the conversation we had and the bond. Many have suggested various ways to cure insomnia but none of them are working well for me. I have tried my very best and of course to cure myself. I think the only way to recover and have a normal sleeping routine is to really let myself into the relaxation mode, to let myself into the world of unknown magical and beauty. Trying not to engage myself into the world of pessimistic ad darkness. I know it will take a long time to adjust my body into such normalized habit. Maybe if I took some time off from my daily routine, something will change someday. The day when I have to stop worrying about promotion, results, relationship, success, house chores, children, living and the little things that deprive my sleep in such a great extent. I pray hard that one day I will have a good night sleep just like anybody else. I will be free from the suffocation and not haunt by the past, present and future.