Gratitude (part I)

A few days ago, someone has asked me a question.

A Question that reflects our personality,” whether I am grateful of what I had in my life?”

Well my answer is “Definitely not!”

But looking back, I have actually given the wrong answer.

Yet this question doubts me mentally whether I am really not grateful or whether I am actually grateful of my life.

There are certain parts in my life that I am grateful and certain parts that I am not.

Life is not perfect, just like humans. Everyone has flaws.

I would say my life was like a princess living in the castle guarded by angels and being provided the best of the best.

Well, I am not a princess and my family wasn’t rich either. However, they treated me like princess.

I am ultra grateful the rooftop that they have given me, the food that blends well with my tummy, the clothes that I get to choose on my own, the travel experience around the world that they have provided.

Well, I do not live in a mansion, I was not fed with upper class food, nor all my clothing are branded names. I have not travel half of the world too.

Living in a small bedroom with my two siblings, I was first annoyed with their sleeping habits yet I do not realize that one day that I will be living far away from them, unable to hear the laughter that we share, the jokes that we play on each other.

Having a comfortable place to sleep in with my siblings is the best thing after a horror movie night.

Recalling the times that I cuddled them before bed, that was one of the good old memories.

My mum and dad were both utterly the best parents. They do not demand for flying colours in exam, nor do they expect us having scholarly high distinction grades like other children in school. That makes them different yet that changes us. We took that for granted. I was an average person, able to study and get acceptable results. My siblings were unable to cope with any subjects in school from languages to maths. Fortunately, there are some hope for the art section.

Life is full of ups and downs, downs is when I came to realize that this not right.

From a child, I wasn’t train to do house chores and cook dishes like some other kids.

I couldn’t even ride a two wheel bicycle.

I have no part time job experiences. Studying in university makes me wonder of the future.

I have not learn to be independent by staying alone, not learn to cook, not learn the skills of survival in the cruel reality world.

From time to time, I do wish time will able to halt the activity that goes on my unconscious mind, not thinking of the future but just do my best for the present.

Studying overseas is not easy. When I have made my decision of leaving home, I wasn’t disheartening of leaving my home as my curiosity towards overseas kills it.

Approaching to my second year, I was devastated that time flows like a blurry streak.

I need to set out to that unfamiliar place again.

The story of mine shall continue tomorrow.


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